Psalms 139: 13-16

13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.

14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.  And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

Dear Paul,

I fell apart a little bit tonight.  Everything has been so confusing since you left on Friday.  Though you’re physically back to staying here again, it very much feels like you’re not living here at all.  It seems each day is a battle for you to decide whether or not to continue your life’s journey with me.  What’s been the most difficult for me has been that suddenly, you seem to have no interest in anything about me.  When I talk about my hopes and dreams and aspirations for our marriage… when I all but beg for any kind of affection… I feel like I’m met with a cold shoulder.

I’ve put you and our marriage in the hands of God and given Him full reign over my life… but that doesn’t keep me from missing my husband.  Whether the times were bad, or in your words, a living hell, you’re still the one I have loved for over two and a half years.  No matter how much you or I have changed… the love for you has only grown.

Maybe this was the kick in the head I needed… to remember who truly is in control of tomorrow.  The tears, the pain, the despair… will all be used for good.  I wish I could predict what will happen with us… but I know that no matter what happens, I thank God for having put you in my life and in spite of everything we’ve been through, You HAVE been a blessing to my life.  I love you for always.

Your wife,

Shannon

“…Have what you want, but want what you have and don’t spend your life looking back. Turn up the music, turn it up loud. Take a few chances and let it all out. ‘Cause you won’t regret it looking back from where you have been. ‘Cause it’s not who you knew and it’s not what you did… it’s how you live… Oh, wherever …you are and wherever you’ve been, NOW is the time to begin…”